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"An innocent kill"

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El1teBE
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Post by NLSP 2012-01-21, 21:16



A new game, brought to you by 'NLSP Productions'

Sponsored by 'The Weekly Prophet' and 'NLSP'

With Special thanks to: AryaStark, BranStark, Cooke444, Keyser_Soze, Lord_Snow, all the innocent kittens in the world, God and I_am_Your_Lord_and_Master



Everyone who has been talking to NLSP, thought in his own 'I can kill an innocent kitten just as good as you'

Well this is YOUR chance. Choose Kit or Kat and post here your choice together with your name, before Wednesday 25th of January 17h GMT+1 and you can play!

In this game, you invite all your fellow participants to visit your place. You make them welcome, give them something to drink (with alc'ool), something to eat (without alc'ool), show them around, talk a bit, have a nice day...
Then one of our production assistants, either Kit or Kat, will appear and bring you 3 small, innocent kittens, who are still breathing and alive, without any diseases and well fed.

In front of the eyes of your guests you slaughter these kittens violently (taking pictures and movies are allowed) and then you finish with another drink
When your guests go home, you tell the forum-users, what your thoughts are, while the guests give points (a real number from from 0 to 10) on 4 aspects and explain them, by sending NLSP a PM!
1) hospitality, did the host a good job, were there enough drinks, the chair was comfortable, .... (0: there is NO hospitality at all // 10: perfect job)
2) violence, how violent was the killings (0: did something die? // 10: I still have nightmares)
3) coherence, how good fit the killing of the 3 kittens together (0: there were 3 separate killings that were unrelated with each other // 10: It was one magnificent event)
4) originality, how original was the TOTAL, meaning drinks, talking, killings, event (0: just like every Wednesday for me//10: this was a once in a lifetime event)
After everyone has been visited, the production makes an event to announce the points and distribute some prices, generously offered by 'The Weekly Prophet' and 'NLSP'

Practical:
Post your name + Kit/Kat here
You get a time-frame assigned for your visit
You HAVE to post during that time-frame the whole event (either in 1 big post telling a lot or multiple smaller once, so people may react) (failing to post, results in disqualification)
al other participants have after the event 48h to PM me for giving points + an explanation (failing to do so, results in minus points!) (telling your points in public, results in minus points)

=> everyone has to give points on everyone, if you can't post for 48h, contact NLSP!

By participating you agree to do an interview with 'The Weekly Prophet'
NLSP Productions is not responsible for any damage (physical or mentally)
NLSP Productions has at any time the right to remove people from the game, alter gamerules or add/substract points from candidates


Take a break, take a KitKat:
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Post by cooke4444 2012-01-22, 08:34


Cooke4444/Kat

hup Finally the chance to kill cute animals. wave

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Post by Nohjis 2012-01-22, 09:29

Nohjis/Kit

cat
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Post by goopypants 2012-01-22, 09:31

wait, what? seriously?
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Post by NLSP 2012-01-22, 14:13

yep Smile

I have to admit that this game is NOT monitored by AHA and that we never claim that animals would not get harmed during this game Smile
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Post by Critically 2012-01-22, 14:14

Critically/Cat (Lion :p )
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Post by shadowukcs 2012-01-22, 14:16

Can I bring my pickachu?

"An innocent kill" SoCuteSoWrong
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Post by NLSP 2012-01-22, 15:12

only if your pickachu is either a participant or qualifies as innocent kitten that can be killed Wink
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Post by shadowukcs 2012-01-22, 15:19

d00d, he can't be a pet cuz he lives in a pokeball in my backpack and he can't be killed. At it's best he can get those spirals on his eyes when he's gotten too much of a beating.
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Post by NLSP 2012-01-22, 15:49

in that case he can only come if he is a participant ^^
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Post by MaryamQ 2012-01-22, 19:58

MaryamQ/Kit I love you
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Post by El1teBE 2012-01-23, 19:44

el1temkd/ Kit
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Post by NLSP 2012-01-25, 19:28

The participants are known Smile
according the agenda of the production assistants Kit and Kat, a schematic will be made ^^
(this will be done after I show my inability to speak, write, read and listen to correct english and understand it/can produce something that makes sense)

(Kit will, in all his goodness, prepare an example, for these who it isn't clear yet what is expected )
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Post by NLSP 2012-01-28, 19:30

To divide the work between Kit and Kat, Kit will work on Mondays, while Kat will work on Thursdays.

ALL TIMES ARE IN GMT+1 (Timezone of Brugge, Westvleteren, Westmalle, Hamont-Achel, Chimay, Rochefort, Villers-devant-Orval; to be short the most import places in the world)

Monday 30 January
Kit goes to Nohjis with 3 innocent kittens
Nohjis has time between 05h00 Monday 30 January and 04h59 Tuesday 31 January to publish al the posts he wants to make
Cooke444, MaryamQ, Critically and el1temkd has to vote (PM NLSP) on Nohjis his prestation between 05h00 Tuesday 31 January and 04h59 Thursday 2 February

Thursday 2 February
Kat goes to Cooke4444 with 3 innocent kittens
Cooke4444 has time between 05h00 Thursday 2 February and 04h59 Friday 3 February to publish al the posts he wants to make
Nohjis, MaryamQ, Critically and el1temkd has to vote (PM NLSP) on Cooke4444 his prestation between 05h00 Friday 3 February and 04h59 Sunday 5 February

Monday 6 February
Kit goes to MaryamQ with 3 innocent kittens
MaryamQ has time between 05h00 Monday 6 February and 04h59 Tuesday 7 February to publish al the posts she wants to make
Nohjis, Cooke444, Critically and el1temkd has to vote (PM NLSP) on MaryamQ her prestation between 05h00 Tuesday 7 February and 04h59 Thursday 9 February

Thursday 9 February
Kat goes to Critically with 3 innocent kittens
Critically has time between 05h00 Thursday 9 February and 04h59 Friday 10 February to publish al the posts he wants to make
Nohjis, Cooke4444, MaryamQ and el1temkd has to vote (PM NLSP) on Critically his prestation between 05h00 Friday 10 February and 04h59 Sunday 12 February

Monday 13 February
Kit goes to el1temkd with 3 innocent kittens
el1temkd has time between 05h00 Monday 13 February and 04h59 Tuesday 14 February to publish al the posts he wants to make
Nohjis, Cooke444, MaryamQ and Critically has to vote (PM NLSP) on el1temkd his prestation between 05h00 Tuesday 14 February and 04h59 Thursday 16 February

Thursday 16 February
special event with prices for the winner



Example from Kit (Kit is lazy and does everything in one post, you may do it in multiple posts with time between, where you can provoke reactions of the others Smile )

Hey, I'm Kit Smile
Welcome at my humble home
Okey, first I give everyone something to drink
*Kit poors something red, blood-like in glasses*
Don't worry, it is not real kittenblood, it is some slightly modified tomatojuice Wink

I'm a productionassistent for NLSP productions, but mostly people know me from the amount of drool that drups out of a certain MarianQ (Name has been altered for privacy reasons, NLSP productions is not responsible if someone feels associated with this name) when she thinks about me Smile
This is a picture of me, I find myself really artistique if I show pictures without color to you
"An innocent kill" Kit-harington-large
I also have rather long hair and do not shave myself like you can see here: "An innocent kill" Tumblr_lopy3cfHQI1qefbzqo1_500


**someone knocks on the door and Kat enters**
"An innocent kill" 3824219155_726becb999
Kat: Hey darlings, hey Kit
Kit: Oh, hey Kat, I hope there are nice kittens here, cause I want to make a new jacket, my old one has been destroyed by PETA (the racist basterds without any respect for animals, these animals died to give their fur to me, and these criminals destroy that fur, making the life and suffering meaningless)
Here you have a picture of me, before I met these terrorists:
"An innocent kill" Images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQl8_J57Ya9_fUu3Cm-UicMk1gKkq9MG2Ltk0oaUeDq6HbYP8g2ka99pwWV

Okey, I have 3 kittens, let the fun begin....
*Kit takes his x26 Taser model and says*
Tom Smith, the Taser Chairman, once said:

Pepper spray goes on for hours and hours, hitting someone with a baton breaks limbs, shooting someone with a firearm causes permanent damage, even punching and kicking - the intent of those tools is to inflict pain, ... with the Taser, the intent is not to inflict pain
* Kit put the cartridge on the taser*
Let's show him that he is wrong ^^
* Kit doesn't shoot the taser but puts it loaded on the table while he takes four nails, made of a conducting metal, takes 2 of the kittens, and nail them on each other trough the feet (left front feet of kitten 1, nailed with right front feet of kitten 2, and vica versa)
Then he takes some duct tape, puts the two nailed kittens on their side on a wooden table (wood is a good isolater) and bind them together with the duct tape*
Kit: This is nice, isn't it? It reminds me from when I was a kid Wink
*Kit shoots the taser on kitten 1, the shocks go to kitten 2 and they both get some serious spasmen*
Kit: oh, to bad, they are not dead yet
*Kit puts some gloves on and takes kitten 3, and start hitting with it on kitten 2 and kitten 1, finally they notice that kitten 3 is bleeding out of his nose, so Kit takes it with the skull and smashes the skull very hard against kitten 1, so the bloodspatter and braintissue are on cooke4444's face (who eagerly licks it)*
Kit: okey, so we only have kitten 2 left, let's take the Bunsen Burner

*Kit starts singing about the Bunsen Burner and Nohjis and Critically join in*
*Kit burns the eyes of kitten 2, and when that isn't sufficient he puts a flame at the anus, cause some fluids to come out of it, but then suddenly, the kitten is dead*
Kit: Okey, this was a fun day Smile
I hope you liked it all Smile have fun ^^



Example of votingsheet send to NLSP by Critically

Name: Critically
Grading of Kit
hospitality: Well there was a good atmosphere, but that was not cause of the drinks. I did not like the tomatojuice, and we didn't get a refill or something for our belly...
I give him a 5,5
violence: Well using a non-violant thing like a taser violently, gives certainly plus points, also the nailing was very very nasty, so that was good Smile I give him a 8,5
coherence: I personally thought there was a bit of improvisation at the end, but kitten 1 and 2 had together the shock, that was nice so I give a 8
originality: Well never seen such a thing, using conductive nails and a taser, using the Bunsen burner it was wunderfull, I am maybe easily impressed, but I give a 9,75


Last edited by NLSP on 2012-01-28, 20:05; edited 1 time in total
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Post by cooke4444 2012-01-28, 19:52

Umm, are the voting times correct, because now we have to vote before 3 people do their presentation. scratch
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Post by NLSP 2012-01-28, 20:00

eh, ohyeah, after copy pasting, you need to change the dates Razz
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Post by El1teBE 2012-01-28, 20:14

What have I just read? Wait, I need to vomit...


Last edited by el1temkd on 2012-01-28, 20:58; edited 1 time in total
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Post by NLSP 2012-01-28, 20:52

el1temkd wrote:What have I just read? Wait, I need to to vomit...
this is always a sign of a good kill Smile
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Post by Nohjis 2012-01-28, 21:01

*Goes shopping for attributes, weapons, food and drinks*
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Post by NLSP 2012-01-30, 07:00

Kit has arrived at Nohjis door, 2hours ago, and is waiting in the freezing cold until Nohjis opens the door Wink

It is Nohjis turn ^^
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Post by Nohjis 2012-01-30, 07:34

I have opened the door for Kit at 7h25.

He brought these:
"An innocent kill" Monster+kittens

I've started preparing the drinks for when the guests arrive ! Cooke444, MaryamQ, Critically and el1temkd are late as expected but who in his right mind expects people to be fully awake at 5am...
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Post by NLSP 2012-01-30, 21:16

Nobody said you have to start at that hour ^^
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Post by xironn 2012-01-30, 23:26

quite pathetic to say the least
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Post by Nohjis 2012-01-31, 01:42

As described here these are evil kittens that might very well turn into monsters. The reasons to kill them, aside from eating them, are then also very obvious. Please note that I’ve found out where these so-called innocents came from.

When the guests arrive they receive some apetizers: cookies and milk as the kittens won’t need them... We chitchat some in the frontgarden while waiting for cooke4444 who seems to be even later then the others. During this chat, the other three learn that all cats are in fact monsters, this would be obvious to most but Critically found it to be a shocking discovery.

cooke4444 finally arrives at 6:47pm. He tries to explain something about tennis and cycling noone understands and we offer him the what’s left over of the milk in our glasses, the bottle was emptied earlier unfortunatly. We’re all glad to go inside as dark clouds suddenly gathered and it begins to rain.

As the door is opened a musical theme welcomes to guests.

The walls are decorated with sheba and whiskas pictures, and the kittens are waiting in their cages. As cooke4444 arrived late, the cathunt was shortened, nevertheless, the cats are released and chased only with traditional cat catching gear (rubber gloves, a mask & and cat catching net). The guests are invited to participate in the hunt and learn of the basic cat expressions to ensure they don’t get hurt:
"An innocent kill" Pusheen_the_cat_emotions
Soon el1temkd brings home the first prize, he managed to capture the happy kitten. Critically got the other easy capture with the curious kitten and as I approach the last one emotion is soon observed to change from sadness to anger. I had been playing with the knife earlier and MaryamQ notices this last cat is already bleeding. After having trained all day with this capture, it was not too much of a hassle.

The kittens are conveniently spread on the wooden kitchentable and pinned to it by slamming long steel things through their paws. A silver knife is taken from the counter and I proceed skinning the first two cats alive. The third cat has already lost too much blood and passed out before being skinned. It’s only then that MaryamQ notices two bottles of dark ale, mushrooms, garlic and some other ingredients she doesn’t quite recognize in this strange kitchen. In the meanwhile the insides are ripped out and put on display in transparent cases who were foreseen for this. As the cats are being cut up into small pieces, they’re thrown into a bowl awaiting the meat. A marinade using the dark ale, the garlic and several spices prepared in correct measures is prepared and added to the bowl. The meat is put on a grill and the mushrooms baked.

After assisting the preparation of these poor kittens, the guests are brought to the dining room. The table is decorated with a nap which has a pattern of dogs with an ironic look on their faces. The chairs have been covered with some kind of fur that el1temkd quickly identifies as comfortable but fake.

Dinner is served and accompanied by a choice out of a wide variety of wines and beers !
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Post by NLSP 2012-01-31, 06:22

a very nice entry, however Kit has not been able to sleep whole night due some stomach problems (no idea if that is related ^^ )
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Post by NLSP 2012-02-02, 07:23

Cooke444's turn Smile
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Post by cooke4444 2012-02-02, 08:29

Oh, cool my turn Twisted Evil .

So this kitten-killing evening has the theme of 'Monty Python', which probably explains the weird things I've done yet on this forum Razz .

Everybody arrives on time, and enter with heroic music:



The dinner consists out of British specialities like haggis and fish and chips. To save their stomach, they could also pick lamb, carp, ansjovis, orang-oetang, breakfast cereals and fruit bats: (and ofcourse spam, spam, spam, spam,...)



(No killings yet, these hand grenades were just to train the throwing skills of the participants, and to scare the kittens)

To drink there is Guiness, whisky (duh) and some non-alcoholic drinks (which stayed untouched).

During the dinner, the kittens are locked in a cage above our heads, so they can smell and see the food.


Last edited by cooke4444 on 2012-02-02, 08:46; edited 1 time in total
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Post by cooke4444 2012-02-02, 08:33

And so the first kitten:

"An innocent kill" Cute-kitten-cats-7035924-331-430
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Post by cooke4444 2012-02-02, 08:44


The kitten will be killed in the spirit of this vid:



The kitten is placed on a small stage with his legs nailed to it.

Then we start throwing small fresh fruit to it, like elderberries, strawberries and abricots from a distance of +/- 5 metres.

The kitten is already hurt, and thrilling with fear, but we continue.

Then: THE APPLES!

Nohjis breaks a leg from the kitten and El1temkd manages to let it bleed uncontrolably.

MaryamQ gets the honor to finish it with a watermellon. The remaining bits go in the fruit salad as dessert.

But first we poke it with pointed sticks:

"An innocent kill" Facebook
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Post by cooke4444 2012-02-02, 08:45


second one:

"An innocent kill" Cute-kitten-cats-6987468-670-578

It's ginger so no mercy!
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Post by cooke4444 2012-02-02, 08:50

So:



Slap it with fish!

Some people take ansjovis, others a small salmon and Critically takes a small shark. He gets the honor to finish it.

The kitten desperatly tries to eat some fish, but gets beaten harder if it does that. After a ferocious strike of Critically, it's unconscious and we drown it in a bucket.
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Post by cooke4444 2012-02-02, 08:52

Final Crying or Very sad

"An innocent kill" Cutest_Kitten_Ever
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Post by cooke4444 2012-02-02, 08:55

The third kitten can't be seen.

So I placed several dynamite sticks in the garden. With this result:



Everybody may detonate one stick. Nohjis is the winner. The kitten was hiding under a small bush. But it got blew up anyway. Tiny bits were spread around the garden.

And with these fireworks we round of an absurd evening.
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Post by NLSP 2012-02-03, 14:43

don't forget to give point's for cooke4444's attempt to beat me in killing kittens Wink
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Post by Boklevski 2012-02-03, 15:39

Nohjis story sounded like a regular day in the Chinese restaurant around the corner... Razz
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Post by NLSP 2012-02-03, 15:40

now you told everyone what nohjis his job is...
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Post by MaryamQ 2012-02-06, 10:51

I sense someone at my gate. I find it is Kit, come to call.

"An innocent kill" Eye-candy-kit-harington-22

He brings with him a lovely basket whose contents we all may guess.

"An innocent kill" Basket03

As we enter my mansion, which is shown here,

"An innocent kill" Valhalla

we find the guests already assembled and admiring my beautiful pink wallpaper. I explain to Kit that time does not exist here, so everything is in the present. Therefore, it is never a problem if my guests are running behind, because they are always already here. Kit is a bit confused by this, so we move on to the refreshments.

The room we are in has many cushions scattered about where people may recline to enjoy their food and drink. This is served by houris, which much to the surprise of those assembled are actually white raisins. They look a little odd floating through the air bearing trays of food and drink. Each guest is magically served with whatever he most desires to eat or drink. For me, it is nectar, ambrosia, lobster, mansaf, and of course, Belgian chocolate. I see several trays of fries and waffles floating by, and lots of beer.

Once everyone has eaten and drunk all he wants, we turn our attention to Kit’s basket. As expected, it contains three adorable kittens. e|1temkd reaches into the basket for the first one.

"An innocent kill" Cutest+Kittens+(34)

While we are all admiring it, it suddenly stiffens and lets out a screech. We wonder whether e|1temkd has started the proceedings already, but then realize there is a hole through the center of its body from front to back. There is no apparent weapon at hand that could have caused this, the houris having removed all the eating utensils, so we turn to Cooke4444, as the nearest thing we have to a forensic expert, for his opinion on what might have caused this. After carefully examining the now dead kitten and also discovering this piece of paper that has mysteriously appeared next to the basket

"An innocent kill" Stock-vector-an-innocent-kitten-and-a-vase-on-the-floor-16930699

Cooke4444 announces his conclusion that this kitten was apparently not as innocent as advertised. The hole could only have been caused by the horn of an invisible pink unicorn, clearly showing the kitten’s wickedness needed to be punished. Kit looks a bit embarrassed about this, as well he might, but we still have two kittens to work with.

We decide to move to the garden, where we can play with the kittens and try to take their minds off what has happened to their basketmate. Critically, interestingly, decides to dress up the second kitten as a form of entertainment…we can only suppose he is jealous of Procuste’s Barbies. He holds his masterpiece up for all to see.

"An innocent kill" Ballerina-cat

Although it would not have been surprising if the kitten died of embarrassment, it appears to have been made of sterner stuff. As soon as Critically puts it down to pick out a new outfit, it makes its escape. Nohjis laughs so hard at this that he sits down on the nearest cloud. Unfortunately, his weight is enough to push the kitten, which has been hiding underneath the cloud, into the river which flows beneath the garden. Its mews are heard more and more faintly as it is carried away by the current.

This leaves only the third kitten, which is by now in a bit of a panic.

"An innocent kill" Innocent+looking+cat

It dashes here and there about the garden, trying to elude capture. In their eagerness to catch the kitten, e|1temkd, Cooke4444, Nohjis and Critically all pile on top of it, crushing it. The white direwolf that has suddenly appeared at Kit’s side comes to investigate and finishes it off in one bite, leaving nothing but a bit of fur floating in the air.

Since all previous plans for killing these kittens have been made unnecessary, the guests all depart as suddenly as they arrived, Kit and his direwolf last of all, and with an apology for their role in the unfortunate turn of events as well as a promise to remind everyone this was not my fault!
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Post by NLSP 2012-02-07, 08:23

While everyone can vote, a small announcement.
If critically doesn't have voted for all entries by Thursday, he is disqualified.
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Post by cooke4444 2012-02-12, 19:08

Is this going anywhere? scratch
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Post by NLSP 2012-02-12, 20:47

yeah, critically is disqualified and eaten alive by giant kittens Smile

Monday it is elitemkd his turn
and thursday there are prizes ^^
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Post by NLSP 2012-02-13, 19:38

we are waiting on elitemkd Smile
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"An innocent kill" Empty Re: "An innocent kill"

Post by El1teBE 2012-02-13, 22:53

I invited all to my wooden cottage in the land "Far, Far Away".
"An innocent kill" 2011cottage
Everybody (except Critically) came. Offered them whatever they liked to drink, eat and have (it wasn't quite hard, having that magic stick one Fairy gave me when I was young). Waiting for Kit... I was nervous all the time, holding my hand in my pocket and skillfully hiding something underneath my T-Shirt. MaryamQ noticed my nervousness and asked me about that. I didn't answered, as someone knocked at the door. I opened it and... that was Kit holding 3 beautiful innocent kittens in his hands:
"An innocent kill" Stripey-kittens-5
Slowly put them in the table, said Hello, and left. It was the time these kittens needed to be killed. I pulled out a gun and pointed in the first kitten head. Now everyone noticed that I am nervous as my hands were shaking all the time. The tension grows... And suddenly, I decided not to kill these 3 innocent kittens, pointed that same gun into my head, and... BANG!!!!
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Post by Mudduck95 2012-02-14, 02:34

Dang El! Well seems like Critically and El are out. Who will be next? Will it be MaryamQ?
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Post by cooke4444 2012-02-14, 08:14

"An innocent kill" Funny-celebrity-pictures-come-on-luke-dont-be-a-pussy

That was for el, not mudduck Wink
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Post by NLSP 2012-02-14, 08:51

The points are gathered, the show for thursday is being prepared and the sponsors are looking for something cheap they can give away as price ....
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Post by Mudduck95 2012-02-14, 21:34

Thanks Cooke!
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Post by NLSP 2012-02-15, 14:18

The prizes has been gathered (Hint: It is innocent, it is still alive and it has 4 legs and a tail), however not all points have been send YET....


Don't forget ^^
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Post by NLSP 2012-02-17, 07:06

Prize ceremony is postphoned due one person that hasn't had the time to give points...
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"An innocent kill" Empty Re: "An innocent kill"

Post by NLSP 2012-02-20, 12:44

After some delays it is time for the prizes:

Let me first thank our sponsors, The Weekly Prophet and NLSP, who have been so generous to donate 4 prices.

The first price is 150 fights or 25 Q6 Weapons and 15Q5 Food, an interview with The Weekly Prophet and a visit to NLSP Productions Smile

The second and third price is a picture of an kitten and 20Q5 Food

The biggest loser of this game, gets a baseball bat, 5 kittens home-delivered by Kit and Kat, a personal training session for killing kittens by NLSP himself

Let me before we go further, thank everyone who made this possible,
especially the candidates, NLSP Productions, NLSP, The Weekly Prophet, AryaStark, BranStark, Keyser_Soze, Lord_Snow, all the innocent kittens in the world, _God_ and I_am_Your_Lord_and_Master


Let us start with some musical intermezzo, performed by Stehpen Lynch Smile




Let's start with the points, there are some people who will start in the negative.
Criticaly starts at -99999, for numerous reasons and is disqualified.
Nohjis starts at -2, for being to late with his grades
El1temkd starts at -3, for letting 3 kittens be alive

Okey, before we go to the hospitality, we show a small part of our friends from 'The Hour', who show how you can invite kittenlovers Wink

There was one clear winner for hospitality, apperently everyone wants to visit MaryamQ one time more Smile
She gathered a total of 26 points for this part!
Congratulations!

El1temkd got 18; Nohjis 17,5 and Cooke received a nice 10
Apperently there are better places to go then cooke's place Wink

We are gone for a small commercial break, stay tuned and see the points for Violence, coherence and originality Smile
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Post by cooke4444 2012-02-20, 13:00

10? 10? 10!!!!!!, oh right, hospitality, yeah don't care... Wink
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